Friday, January 13, 2012

Well that was rude.

As enormous as I'm becoming, I can't say that I have totally hated all the attention that the Betty belly gets. (Though it is a little annoying sometimes, such as when I've literally been made late for work because people want to talk to me about it.) Everyone has been super nice about it and up until yesterday, I had even avoided the dreaded "Is it twins?" type comment. Thanks so much, Lady at the Gym, for ruining my perfect streak.

I had seen her in the locker room several times before. It would be impossible for me to forget her because every time she's there, she is with her daughter who is maybe 9 years old and is THE WHINING-EST KID EVER. Seriously. This girl whines and complains and cries nonstop and the mother just smiles and smiles like the doesn't have a brain in her head, which I'm sure is just exacerbating the problem. Every time I see them, I think, "Please god don't let Betty be all obnoxious like that". And I like to think she won't be because I'm pretty intolerant of excessive whining.

Anyway, as soon as I walked into the locker room, I see Brainless Mom, who is standing there smiling at nothing in particular while she waits for Whiny Daughter to get out of the shower. Then she does a double-take and turns her smiling face on me and says,

"You must be about to pop any second!"

Which I'm not. I still have about 7 weeks until my due date, but thank you for making me feel like more of a planet than I already do. However, I managed to not flinch, and pleasantly replied,

"Um no...not quite. I still have about 7 weeks left."

To which she looked visibly shocked and said, "Oh! Is it one or two?"

Christ. Here we go.

Me: "Just the one."

I figured the conversation could go ahead and end there. Unfortunately, Brainless had other plans.

Her: "Oh my." *insert sympathetic face here* "Big baby?"

Okay seriously? As far as I was concerned, this conversation was over. I don't understand why some people think that pregnancy equals a free-for-all on inappropriate comments about the inflated state of a woman's body. What I should have done was made a sympathetic face at her ass and said "Oh my...too many Ho Hos?" But I'm not that much of a bitch, so instead I told her that no, she was measuring right on target and then turned my back on her hoping that she would get the hint.

Being that she is an idiot, she didn't get it. Instead she tried to backpedal by telling me that I was so thin everywhere else and was just all belly, but at that point I was done entertaining anything else she had to say. I have never been so happy to see that bratty daughter of hers when she came up right at that moment with the whining dialed up to maximum level and then continued to whine and complain loudly the entire time her mother brushed her hair for her.

I like to think my giant baby with her giant brain will be a child prodigy that will know how to brush her own hair by the time she's in 3rd grade.


  1. rude doesn't even cover it!!! I don't get people and you'd think that her being a mom, and a former pregnant woman she's have some type of mute button.

  2. Heck yeah it was rude!! You should never ask someone 'one or two'! I have missed your blogging and can't wait for Betty to get on out here!

  3. I have no other comment!

  4. I got a lot of that when I was pregnant, about a week before I gave birth a guy came up to me in Starbucks and asked if I was having twins. The worst was a week AFTER I gave birth on my first trip out in public to Target I was asked when I was due...again a week AFTER I had given birth. That was the worst.