The hugeness. The swelling. The heartburn. The return of first trimester nausea. All of these things are my life right now and all of them are horrible beyond words. The sight of my ankles is enough to make me cry. (Well really only my right ankle...my left doesn't really swell at all. Weird.)
But there is one thing that is worse.
I'm 6 days from my due date and I'm still working. I don't think I'm kind of superhero for doing so...plenty of women work right up until they go into labor and I always figured that I would be one of them. It's been especially miserable for the past week or two though as Baby B has dropped really low into my pelvis making it virtually impossible to even make a trip to the fax machine without practically peeing my pants. And I've found that the only thing more miserable than feeling like I can't walk or being exhausted or in pain is having these things pointed out to me by other people.
Oh the comments.
I think I'm tired now? Well I better sleep while I still can because my baby will keep me up at night. Thanks for the suggestion, Captain Obvious, but last I checked, I'm not some kind of crazy sleep camel that can store extra sleep in my hump (bump?) for later use. Actually, I'm pretty sure that I will actually get MORE sleep when my child is here considering that I currently get up to use the bathroom at least 7 times a night which works out to being up and about at least once an hour. At least when I'm on maternity leave, I can take a nap during the day. Comfortably. While able to lie on my stomach and not feel like my legs are being ripped out of their sockets wishbone style. (Make a wish!! I'd like to go into labor RIGHT. NOW. PLEASE.)
And of course my personal favorite that I have been hearing every day when I walk into the office from no less than 3 people..."You're still here?" Nope. You're not really seeing me right now. I'm just a huge, bloated figment of your imagination. Maybe you should stop smoking so much crack before you come to work.
I am to the point where I can not only not take pregnancy anymore, but I can't take other people anymore. In fact, I could probably tolerate the pregnancy part better if other people would shut the eff up. It also seems like the worst offenders are women that already have children and I'm thinking...shouldn't they know better? At this point I have a mental list a mile long of things that I am going to be absolutely sure to NEVER EVER EVER say to a pregnant woman again.
So yesterday I made the executive decision that this coming Friday is going to be my last day of work before I go on maternity leave. Yes, I was going to work until my water broke, but I'm to the point where I'm so uncomfortable and so anxious that being here is bad for my well being as well as the well being of anyone who gets within a 10 foot radius of me. I started to realize that if I don't give people an end date, they will continue to unthinkingly pile ridiculous projects on my desk that I will kill myself trying to get finished in a day because this baby could come any second.
But let's not kid ourselves. Because it's just my luck that she will go a week overdue at which point I'll have to be induced. Oh yeah...I also used to say that I was against being induced if I went over and would rather the baby come when she's ready, but that all flew out the window around week 36.
Basically, I love my job and I love my coworkers, but I would also love to continue to love them later on. And in order for that to happen, I have to get the hell out of here.
Friday cannot get here fast enough.