Yes I'm still here. ::strangle::

*Warning...this post is complainey. Just figured I'd let people know first in case they didn't want to read a lot of pregnant bitching this morning.*

The hugeness. The swelling. The heartburn. The return of first trimester nausea. All of these things are my life right now and all of them are horrible beyond words. The sight of my ankles is enough to make me cry. (Well really only my right ankle...my left doesn't really swell at all. Weird.)

But there is one thing that is worse.

I'm 6 days from my due date and I'm still working. I don't think I'm kind of superhero for doing so...plenty of women work right up until they go into labor and I always figured that I would be one of them. It's been especially miserable for the past week or two though as Baby B has dropped really low into my pelvis making it virtually impossible to even make a trip to the fax machine without practically peeing my pants. And I've found that the only thing more miserable than feeling like I can't walk or being exhausted or in pain is having these things pointed out to me by other people.

Oh the comments.

I think I'm tired now? Well I better sleep while I still can because my baby will keep me up at night. Thanks for the suggestion, Captain Obvious, but last I checked, I'm not some kind of crazy sleep camel that can store extra sleep in my hump (bump?) for later use. Actually, I'm pretty sure that I will actually get MORE sleep when my child is here considering that I currently get up to use the bathroom at least 7 times a night which works out to being up and about at least once an hour. At least when I'm on maternity leave, I can take a nap during the day. Comfortably. While able to lie on my stomach and not feel like my legs are being ripped out of their sockets wishbone style. (Make a wish!! I'd like to go into labor RIGHT. NOW. PLEASE.)

And of course my personal favorite that I have been hearing every day when I walk into the office from no less than 3 people..."You're still here?" Nope. You're not really seeing me right now. I'm just a huge, bloated figment of your imagination. Maybe you should stop smoking so much crack before you come to work.

I am to the point where I can not only not take pregnancy anymore, but I can't take other people anymore. In fact, I could probably tolerate the pregnancy part better if other people would shut the eff up. It also seems like the worst offenders are women that already have children and I'm thinking...shouldn't they know better? At this point I have a mental list a mile long of things that I am going to be absolutely sure to NEVER EVER EVER say to a pregnant woman again.

So yesterday I made the executive decision that this coming Friday is going to be my last day of work before I go on maternity leave. Yes, I was going to work until my water broke, but I'm to the point where I'm so uncomfortable and so anxious that being here is bad for my well being as well as the well being of anyone who gets within a 10 foot radius of me. I started to realize that if I don't give people an end date, they will continue to unthinkingly pile ridiculous projects on my desk that I will kill myself trying to get finished in a day because this baby could come any second.

But let's not kid ourselves. Because it's just my luck that she will go a week overdue at which point I'll have to be induced. Oh yeah...I also used to say that I was against being induced if I went over and would rather the baby come when she's ready, but that all flew out the window around week 36.

Basically, I love my job and I love my coworkers, but I would also love to continue to love them later on. And in order for that to happen, I have to get the hell out of here.

Friday cannot get here fast enough.

FULL TERM!!!! OMG.

How far along: 37 weeks. Which means I'm FULL TERM!!!! I never thought this day would come, but thank god it finally has. (Now watch...she will go two weeks overdue.)

How big is baby: The size of a watermelon. I didn't even need to check on those online charts to know this. It just looks like there is a watermelon crammed up my shirt.

Total weight gain: Funny story...I found out by accident. I meant to remain ignorant to my weight gain through my entire pregnancy and then just worry about fitting back into my pants later. But then I was doing my paperwork for short term disability and my doctor wrote my weight on there. And I saw it. Oops.

I have gained about 35 pounds, which I'm okay with. I thought I had gained more like 100.

Sleep: Totally overrated.

Maternity Clothes: The dress I have on in the picture below is actually a non-maternity dress. But most days, yes.

Food cravings: If anyone has suggestions of things that will make me go into labor, I'll be taking them at this point.

Food aversions: Nothing.

Challenges: Walking to the fax machine without taking a bathroom break.

Movement: I can tell she has run out of room.

Boy or Girl?: Another funny story...or really NOT so funny. I have heard of a lot of people lately finding out later in their pregnancies that the scans were wrong when they found out the sex. So basically I've been obsessively looking at B's potty shot from my anatomy scan to make sure that what I'm really seeing is girl bits. I think I am, but I guess I can't be 100% sure until the day she is born.

Obviously I will love her if she happened to be a boy, but it would certainly be a really unfortunate situation as far as clothing and room decorations are concerned.

What I’m looking forward to: EVICTION DAY.

What I miss: Being not-pregnant.

Next appt: Tomorrow. I will get my GBS results *fingers crossed* and maybe start talking to the doctor about what happens when (I'm being a pessimist) I go overdue.

The Full Term Belly:

MILESTONE! 35/35. Plus a Mommy Makeover.

How far along: 35/35! That's 35 weeks down and 35 days to go as of yesterday, so today I am one day closer. Thank god.

How big is baby: Giant. The Bump changed up their fruit system so I get a new one every week now and this week, B is a butternut squash. I wish she had the temperament of a butternut squash...instead I feel like I'm gestating an angry raccoon.

Total weight gain: I don't want to know.

Sleep: I didn't think it could possibly get any worse. And then it did.

Maternity Clothes: Yep.

Food cravings : Chocolate milk.

Food aversions: Nothing.

Challenges: Moving. Sitting. Smiling.

Movement: *cries*

Boy or Girl?: Hopefully still a girl.

What I’m looking forward to: Guess.

What I miss: Ugh.

Next appt: Next Wednesday. GBS test! Wheeee!

Obligatory belly pic complete with hip new mom hair!:

Now about my hair. M and I paid a visit to M's sister (my sister-in-law and Betty's aunt) J, who just so happens to also be my very awesome hair stylist. I have been feeling more than a little down on myself lately, what with all the largeness that is going on over here. I was hoping that maybe a little makeover would help with my self esteem.

So J cut some bangs again (she did them for me once before and I loved them) and trimmed a little off the bottom as well...this pregnancy has my hair growing like a weed. Then we started making plans for whatever fabulous dye-job we are going to try after B arrives. It really helped! While I still feel like a big pile of hot garbage for 90% of the day, I look at least a little more like a hot mom now. :)

She probably won't read this, but she really is a lifesaver. Betty is lucky to have such a cool aunt!

34w

How far along: 34w (+1 day). 41 days to go THANK GOD. I know I'm going to get bigger than this, and the idea of that scares the crap out of me.

How big is baby: According to the bump, Betty is a honeydew. According to my WTE app for iPhone, she is the size of a large cantaloupe. Somewhere between 19 and 22in and 5.5 pounds. That is one LARGE cantaloupe.

Total weight gain: No clue. I have a doctor's appointment in an hour and a half and I don't intend to have a clue after that either.

Sleep: What's that?

Maternity Clothes: Wearing them. I live in maternity leggings and yoga pants now. Work dress codes be damned.

Food cravings : None. Although strangely I really wanted blackberries for like 3 days and then was over them as quickly as it began.

Food aversions: Nothing out of the ordinary.

Challenges: Staying on the elliptical for more than 15 minutes without having to take a pee break. I think she's dropping and leaning more heavily on my bladder now.

Movement: All the time.

Boy or Girl?: Hopefully still a girl.

What I’m looking forward to: 6 more weeks!

What I miss: Being thin.

Next appt: In about an hour and a half.

Obligatory belly pic:

A Very Betty Celebration (complete with Ravens WIN!)

The grossest game I have ever witnessed in my life was at a baby shower. Personally, I opted out of playing because I HATE HATE HATE shower games with a passion, but the memory of watching my friend microwave miniature bars of chocolate in tiny diapers and then having people identify them is forever seared into my memory. The day I find random peanuts in my newborn's diaper is the day the pediatrician gets an alarmed phone call.

So when I found out that my sisters-in-law and my stepmom wanted to throw Betty a baby shower, I was SO excited, but also a little terrified. What if I had to play the candy bar crap game? Or any terrible game? Plus, though you might find this a little hard to believe, I'm not very good at being the center of attention and parties that are focused on me make me feel very nervous and awky. Throughout my pregnancy, people have been telling me to soak it up now because once baby gets here it will be all about her, but what they don't seem to understand is that I will be GLADLY handing over any and all attention to Betty. Even in school plays growing up, I always did better as an auxiliary character. I never wanted the lead.

Fortunately what I must have forgotten in my panic is that these people are my family and they know me. Hence, the theme for the party that day pretty much became laid-back awesomeness with close friends, eating delicious food, chatting, only playing ONE shower game (that somewhat humiliating one where people cut a ribbon to indicate how big they think my belly is, and then everyone with the exception of two people grossly overestimating and making me feel like even more of a house), and mostly doing one of my personal favorite things...gathering around the television to watch RAVENS FOOTBALL!

It just so happened that our playoff game vs the Texans fell on the exact same date and at the exact same time as my shower. At first I thought this might be a tragedy and that no one would want to come because of it, but almost everyone did come and the fact that the game was on kept some of the attention off of me. A HUGE win all around.

Not only did all those guests come, but they also completely spoiled my daughter, which I suppose is just a taste of things to come in her life. (Only child, plus the only girl in either of our families? We'll take care to make sure that she doesn't turn into a brat, but little B is going to be spoiled whether we like it or not.) For the most part, we have everything we need now and I'm pretty much completely overwhelmed by the generosity and have about a million thank you's to write this weekend.

And of course to top it all off, the Ravens won! Thanks for the gift, guys! Did I mention how much Betty would love it if you won the Superbowl this year?

I wish I had pictures to share. Actually I do have a few, but I look like a cow in every single one of them so I will leave you with a few pictures that don't involve me.

Such a gorgeous cake, right? I love the idea of putting alphabet letters on there. Of course, I think maybe ABC or even EAE (B's initials) would have been a little more appropriate than BAD, but I am not a cake artist, so what do I know.

Just some of her presents! I told you she got spoiled.

Food is always the best kind of party favor. How cute are these little personalized M&M's my stepmom ordered? My answer? Too cute to eat.

Photo credits go to my friend, Kate. My brother was also acting as photographer for the day, but I have yet to see any of the pics he took. I'm sure they are great too!

Tutu Success!

I don't know what I was so worried about...that was EASY!

I made my first (of many) tutus for B on Saturday night while M and I relaxed and watched the brutal destruction of the Denver Tebows by the Pats, and I'm so happy with how it came out that I told him I think she might need one in every color now. To which he responded, "How many tutus does a girl really need?"

And cue major side-eye from me. He's not female so I figure that he just can't fully understand.

Anyway, the tulle I used is mint green, white, and chocolate brown (craving mint chocolate chip ice cream, much?). I also had made her a flower headband the other week and I think it will go along with it adorably. Hopefully we can make this ensemble work for her newborn pics!

Birth announcements!

Sure it might be a little pre-mature, but I finished the design for B's birth announcements! The white circle on the right is obviously where her picture will go.

Betty's newborn pictures are being taken by a good friend of mine, Michelle of Clicks Photography. She's super talented and I'm so excited to see what she comes up with.

I'm currently waiting for my tulle order to arrive so that I can start on the tutu that she can wear for her big debut photo shoot. I think a mint green, brown, and white combo will look adorable with the purple on her announcement!

Fingers crossed that the tutu looks like a tutu when I'm finished with it...